Southbound and DOwn

Hello Universe, I am writing today because I am feeling conflicted. It occurs to me that few if any people will read these words, so I can feel free to express whatever I am going through. I am currently on a journey from TORONTO Canada, to CLEARWATER Florida. My mother was born in the south and I have a number of family members living in Florida. I should feel ecstatic to be leaving the bitter cold and grey that Canadian winters gaurantee, but instead my heart feels heavy. Over the course of my life I have felt extremely alienated and uncomfortable around my family, especially my extended family. I have recently been blessed with a chance and a choice to re-connect and genuinely mean what I say when I let my family know how much they mean to me. However right now I feel ..., I am in a hotel room in West Virginia, hundreds of miles from any friends or comforts of home. My heart feels heavy, my mind feels scattered and my body feels anxious. I am scared. I feel unwelcome in my own body. I am trying my best to embrace these feelings and express them through writing, art and music, and still I am wound up extremely tight. I will pray to creator to help me to maintain my resolve and not become dominated by my negative thoughts (and strive not to let them manifest into negative actions, spiritual toxins or bad vibrations)> I am very grateful to be ALIVE. I am soooo thankful that I have had the courage, strength and hope to reach out for help and to reach out to help others. I need to remind myself that the path I have chosen can be verrrry challenging. I will continue to reach out with love even if it means being ridiculed. I am sorry to all the people who have let me know that they want nothing to do with LOVE, and would rather hate themselves than accept that they DESERVE much much more. Today I pray for the SERENITY, ACCEPTANCE, COURAGE, WISDOM and another 24 hours to do my best.

KNowing i Am never Alone,
ESPECIALLY when i feel abandoned

Andrew Lane